Cracking the Code to Happiness

Why Wanting Keeps You In a Loop

As I sit in my chair, with a coffee in my hand. Soaking in the sun from outside of the window. Feeling so immerse content. Just content at every aspect in my life at every point. There is no hole to fill with a promotion, a milestone, a wedding ring, a house, or even a baby. No event to chase. I catch myself being fully present, not thinking about the next step, not longing for the next big thing I want or supposedly should accomplish (according to society).

I’m 33 years old. Am I in a rush to get married? No. Am I in a rush to buy property? No. Am I in a rush to have a baby, thinking it would make me whole or complete? No. Because I don’t need anything from the external world to fill a gap. A hole. Even that part of me that yearns for something would only stay stuck in a loop of wanting, wanting, wanting. First this, then that. And once we accomplish something, still it’s not enough. Because we are taught that what we have is never enough.

Isn’t that consumerism? Every year a new iPhone, because the older version supposedly doesn’t do the job anymore. A new car, a bigger house. Why is the world so obsessed with wanting? Wanting more, consuming more, being more, reading more. It’s never just enough. Enough of what you already have, the kind of enough that makes you feel immense happiness. How come only a few truly know how to be whole and complete with what they already have? Not a scratch more, not a scratch less. Just that. With whoever you are, and whatever you hold. In your whole being.

I catch myself feeling this. I catch myself overflowing with immense gratitude for this exact moment.Is this what they mean by “just being present and grateful”? Then why the tears?No, these are not tears of sadness. Not tears of feeling lost. Not anger. And definitely not the tears of a woman in her luteal phase. Could it be the tears of joy? Is that it?

Why do I even want to analyze this? Can I just accept that this is contentment, peace, happiness, whatever word you want to attach to it. That this feeling, this exact feeling in this moment, means I don’t long for anything outside of myself. That I don’t tie my self-worth to something external. Is this what they mean by knowing your worth, by not needing external validation? By not stressing about your career, not checking the clock, not feeling anxious about being late, late to work, late to milestones, late to whatever you think you should be doing at your age.

Just enjoying that moment. With exactly that. With your whole being. With all that you are.

That’s it.

I think I just cracked the code to happiness.

Yours truly,

Morsal